If I Should Die Before I Wake
by Unique Musique
Summary: "Come away with me. Help me raise our child." What if Anakin had listened to Padme and Obi-Wan when they tried to convince him to come back home; to return to the Light side? AU redemption fic! First in the "All That We Are" oneshot trilogy.


_**A/N**__: Alright; I know this is not the world's greatest story. But I have two very legit excuses for this. One – I am fourteen years old. You can't expect great writing from me. Two – this is my first Star Wars fanfiction story ever. I'm new to it. If you want perfect writing give me two years._

_I wrote this story because I seriously cannot stand the fact that Anakin turned dark. I fell in love with him in the first movie, that love lasted through the second movie and the very beginning of the third; then after the fight with Obi-Wan at the lava pit…no. Just no. I will never watch any of the movies other than the first two ever again. I officially despise the writers. I'm sorry. It's true. _

_So if Anakin can't live out a proper happy life in the movies, then he'll just have to do it through fanfiction. No matter how crappy of an author writes the stories (cough, me, cough)._

_I hope you guys enjoy it anyway, though; it was most definitely entertaining to write!_

**If I Should Die Before I Wake**

"Come away with me. Help me raise our child."

_What have I done?_

Here she stands in front of him, asking him to re-join the Light side, _begging_, with tears in her eyes. Could he have imagined himself this way four years ago, holding her by the lake on Naboo? Could he have foreseen this as a future for himself during his training with Obi-Wan?

Can he see it as a future for himself _now_?

No.

"I can't lose you, Padme. I won't lose you the way I lost my mother."

Anakin feels, with a jolt of shock, the tears building up in his own eyes.

"Please, Padme. I can't watch you die. Please. Don't put me through that."

Her hand brushes across his face as she stares up into his eyes. She hates their color. Twenty-four hours ago, they were sky-blue; full of happiness, full of love. All they held now was confusion.

"And I can't watch you do this to yourself, Anakin. Would you put _me _through that?"

He thinks.

Could he do that? Could he, for the fear of losing her, break her heart, turn to the Dark side?

No.

"Obi-Wan will never forgive me. Not after what I've done. He must hate me. How can I ever face him?"

He blinks rapidly. The tears will not fall. He cannot, will not show weakness, show emotion – he cannot, will not, allow himself to cry.

"Obi-Wan loves you, Anakin, and he _will _forgive you, if you only come home with me, and give him the chance." Her words sent a spasm of pain, anger through him. How could she say such things? How could she say such things, tell him such terrible lies, right to his face?

He is a monster.

_How can anybody love him?_

_No._

"He can't love me! _You _can't love me!" He twists away from her as the tears fall from his eyes, ashamed of them. "I _deserve to die!_"

"Anakin!" Padme cries. He can tell without looking that her own tears have begun to fall. "Don't dare say that! You don't –"

Anger. Why is he so angry?

"Don't tell me that I don't!" Anakin turns back to her, no longer caring if she watches him cry. "Look what I've done, Padme! How could you ever love me after what I've become?"

And he breaks.

He sees Obi-Wan, slowly approaching, as if to show he poses no threat. Padme, reaching her hand out for his. And he breaks. He falls to his knees, the tears flowing freely.

_What have I done?_

He sees the younglings, the fear in their innocent eyes as he slaughters them. He shouldn't be able to return to the Jedi, to redeem himself. He should be killed the same way they were; in darkness, in hatred.

_Hatred. _They have every right to hate him.

And yet they love him. They invite him right back into their lives, so quick to forgive.

Strong hands lay themselves on his shoulders as he sobs, gasping for breath. Anakin trembles, partially in fear. His master has been sent to kill him. Would he? Padme had told him that Obi-Wan cared. He doesn't seem particularly violent. He seems to be offering comfort. Anakin's mind begins to race. Could this be a trap, a ploy, a plan to finish him off?

"You must fight it, Anakin. Don't let the Darkness consume you."

"I am trying, master," he gasps in reply, taking a sharp breath.

His head pounds as invisible claws grasp at him, pleading and ordering, not allowing his departure. _We need you. You will help us, young apprentice. Don't listen to them; they are fools. Come with us, and achieve your goals. Come with us, and you can save your Padme._

A cry of pain.

"Master," Anakin says, looking up towards Obi-Wan. His eyes – glossy, bloodshot, unfocussed – bore into determined brown. "It hurts. He wants to kill me." Obi-Wan doesn't need to hear the words to understand what's happening. He watchedshis apprentice's face carefully. It's growing paler. The gold coloring of his eyes wavers, but does not leave.

"Focus, Anakin. Hear my voice."

A ripple of blue in his eyes. Anakin squeezes them shut again, breathing heavily, as if in pain. Padme steps forward, kneeling beside the Jedi Master.

"Your baby, Anakin. It needs a father. I need you."

_We need you, young apprentice. You will defeat the Jedi. You will have power beyond belief._

_Don't lie to me. _Anakin feels a surge of anger as he hears the voice in his head, trying to lure him back. _You've lied to me, forced me to murder, and all in your own selfish reasons. I won't allow you to claim my life as well._

_And so you offer your Padme to die in childbirth? How Dark of you._

"Fight, Anakin."

_You will not break me. I can't be like you._

"You're better than this."

_I know better than to listen to you. Go away! Just leave me alone._

_You are Dark, Anakin. It has always been inside of you, and have the chance to realize your potential today. Come with me. Trust me._

No, he wouldn't, he couldn't do it.

He screams; a spasm of pain, and he collapses, falling into Obi-Wan's arms.

"Fight it, Anakin!"

He's trying, and maybe he's succeeding, he can't tell, but he's crying; Obi-Wan shakes him, tells him to fight, and Padme is crying again; and it hurts, and everything is growing darker. He gives it one last try.

The pain is gone, now non-existent.

God, he's tired.

"Anakin."

The voice is relief, but he barely hears it. He goes limp, and exhaustion overtakes him.

"Welcome back."

**A/N: **_Like I said, I'm not the greatest writer. But I tried, and I hope you guys liked it anyway. Review and let me know what you think? The next oneshot in the series, "I Pray To The Lord My Soul To Take" should be up in a week or so. Maybe sooner, if I really feel up to it. Keep an eye out!_


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